Melanie Vallance (she/her)
Neurodivergent-centred Trauma-informed Theraputic CounsellorGuiding You On the Path of Self-Healing
I truly believe that the relationship between a therapist and their client is unique and special; conditions need to feel right, safe and productive in order for change to happen.
I have created a warm space in my home to encourage a therapeutic alliance between me and my clients.
In choosing me as your counsellor you are making the decision to trust me with your inner most thoughts and feelings and I honour that by working ethically, legally and within my limits of proficiency.
I recognise the vulnerability and bravery it can take to make the decision to talk to a mental health professional and I am focused on offering an environment that is safe, nurturing, non-judgmental and empowering.
Empowering the individual on their journey
The way I work is primarily through Person Centered talking therapy, but there are times when I will draw on Transactional Analysis, Compassion Focused Therapy and creative methods, too.
I approach my client work with an anti-victim blaming mindset, and I am passionate about the anti-pathologisation of trauma; that is, I am against the labelling of trauma as a so-called personality disorder.
My hope would be for you to receive a positive experience of counselling with an aim for you to understand your presenting issues with compassion and curiosity.
My role isn’t to tell you what to do or give you solutions; what we CAN do is work collaboratively to understand how you relate to people, where your thought patterns come from and what makes you YOU.
A nuturing environment
My practice is located in Whitchurch near Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire.
I work therapeutically with people from the age of 16+.
I aim to provide a warm, safe space in my home where you feel comfortable talking, laughing, crying, swearing, sitting in silence, getting angry, or whatever you need to feel to help the therapeutic process.
I want my clients to experience an environment that makes them feel welcome, safe and accepted.
I will listen to your individual emotional needs, and together, we can unpick, fathom and question what you are experiencing.
My qualifications and experience
Experience
ALICE MILLER
“Genuine feelings cannot be produced, nor can they be eradicated… the body sticks to the facts.”
What can I offer you?
One to one counselling
Here For You
Whatever your age, there are times when it can be necessary to reflect, listen to and address feelings and emotions that are impacting us.
Counselling with me offers an opportunity to explore your thoughts and experiences by guiding you safely at your pace through your emotional journey. Counselling sessions focus on your needs by treating you as the individual you are.
I am a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and work with their framework for safe and ethical practice.
I am insured in the capacity of a therapeutic counsellor.
I have an individual enhanced DBS certificate.
Guidance with common mental health issues
Individual care
I have experience working alongside clients with:
- Neurodivergence; In particular Autism & ADHD
- Anger
- Anxiety
- Bereavement
- Depression
- Eating disorders and body image
- Gender and identity
- The impact of a mental health disorder misdiagnosis
- Local authority care; users and leavers
- Phobias
- Prison & the criminal justice system
- Race and culture
- Relationships
- Sexual abuse and trauma
- Sexuality
- The impact of Trauma
My special interests
Exploring the true you
I have passion, interest and experience in working with Neurodivergent clients of all ages; this includes but is not exclusive to Autism, ADHD, PDA, Dyspraxia, Dyslexia and Tourettes.
My interest extends to clients exploring their sexuality and gender identity, including clients scrutinising or engaging in diverse relationships.
My experience includes working therapeutically with partners and family members of Neurodivergent individuals.
I work to empower people with a later-in-life Neurodivergent diagnosis.
Pricing
1 to 1 Session
- Sessions last for 1 hour
- Sessions can be paid for in cash or bank transfer
Concessions
Reasons for therapy
Been through a big life change?
Change of any kind, even joyous, can lead to emotional and physical stress. Change often creates confusion because you’re suddenly in a situation where you don’t know what to expect.
It’s going to rattle your sense of self to deal with a painful change, like the death of someone close to you, finding out your long-term partner has been cheating or receiving a life-altering medical diagnosis; therefore, talking about your lived experience can help make sense of what is impacting you.
There are times when even good changes can be overwhelming. If you’re feeling overburdened or anxious in a new job, or overwhelmed with a new baby, seeking help might be a good idea.
If you have received an Autism or ADHD diagnosis in adulthood, you might be trying to make sense of what it means to you post-diagnosis and the experiences you had pre-diagnosis.
Repeating unhealthy behaviour or thought patterns
There are so many different kinds of destructive behaviours for example drug or alcohol abuse, self harm, restricting food intake, binge eating, choosing the wrong kinds of romantic partners, having unsafe sex or engaging in violent confrontations.
It’s useful to remember that it is common for people to make missteps which occasionally veer into risky behaviour. But when you can’t stop the behaviour, if it’s interfering with your ability to function properly in your daily life, or it’s negatively affecting your relationships, it’s time to pause and seek help.
For some people, the stakes might not seem as big — maybe your behaviour isn’t unhealthy but your thoughts are, and they are constant. If you’re caught in a cycle of shame, cruel self-talk or unhealthy fantasies, then counselling can work to interrupt the cycle.
You feel like your life is being interrupted by trauma from your past
Some people who experience trauma are affected by it in immediate and obvious ways. But post-traumatic stress can manifest in many different ways. It can be subtle and gradual. Many people will have some combination of both instant and delayed reactions, and in some cases, those delayed reactions can happen long after the event.
The types of delayed reactions trauma survivors might endure include intrusive memories or flashbacks, self-blame, preoccupation with the event, depression, emotional detachment, sleep disturbances, magical thinking as a way to prevent future trauma, and hopelessness.
There’s no single way to “get over” past trauma, but if you can’t stop thinking about your trauma, or you’re isolating yourself because of fear it will happen again, there are ways to cope, and these can be explored during Counselling.
You have big decisions to make
A good counsellor won’t choose for you — that’s not their job. What they will do is work with you so that you can figure out the correct answer for yourself. A therapist supports you, gives you a neutral space to talk and gives you tools to figure out what you really want.
While working collaboratively, we will work to help you understand patterns of thinking.
Many of our decisions are weighted by expectations from our families and friends, our partners or society at large — a Counsellor can help you better understand what will actually work for you.
Your relationship feels unhealthy or has just ended
It can be easy to forget or minimize when you’re not living through it, but heartbreak can be incredibly painful. That’s normal but there are times when it is useful to talk to an unbiased professional on the impact a relationship is having on you .
As humans we are continually in some form of relationship from romantic, friendship or career; they give us a sense of identity and connectivity. A counsellor can help you evaluate any relationship you are concerned about to empower you to decide to either strengthen or leave a bad relationship, and can help with coping techniques if it ends.
A therapist can also help you examine the specific issues in your relationship. Do you unconsciously seek out partners with the same unhealthy qualities? Have you experienced the same kinds of issues in different relationships? If you feel like you’re repeating the same mistakes, that’s a sign that you could use some help.
You are questioning your identity and value
Humans need to be social and connect with others; however, there can be a disconnect if you try to fit into a society that doesn’t ‘get’ you. There can be a sense of loneliness and isolation in not being recognised for who you are.
Being expected to conform and adapt to the ideals of others can bring a sense of shame, lack of self-belief or perhaps bouts of anger. Other people’s standards or expectations of how you should behave or be identified can lead to you deviating from the true you, which can manifest in mental health issues.
Counselling can offer a place to safely and non-judgmentally explore what it means to be you and allow you to recognise your value.
Perhaps you have spent a lifetime masking your true self because it is not safe to be openly you; reasons can be due to familial, cultural and societal expectations and rules. Counselling can explore what it means to lower the mask and see the impact for you.
